According to several studies on the subject of relationships and health, good relationships are one of the key components to health and well-being. So, it makes sense that we should actively work on our relationships, just like we strive to eat better and be more active. Good Relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness, and most of all – Effort. The main reason why modern times relationships are falling apart so easily is the belief “the other person is going to give me joy” keeps me hooked to the outside for self-attainment. And that’s where the vicious circle of expectations begins. So, is there a state or advice for perfect relationships at any given time or situation? Well, my heart says yes, it is possible with a little attention, a wise intellect, and a heart full of pure love. Be your own relationship counsellor! Let’s explore 3 main relationship rules, which make relationships healthy and fulfilling that works in every situation.
- Opening an unlimited account of acceptance and forgiveness – Today, we live in a world where you find a transaction-taking place in every sphere of life. Our motto of life has become “What’s in for me” in every relationship, every action we are performing. We have started believing in the give and take form of relationships. If I am offering this, what I get in return, if I bring this to the table, and in return, I have that to offer. Relationships are an exchange of energy between souls. I need to ask myself what energy or thoughts am I creating in my mind while handing you that huge glittery wrapped birthday present with a red ribbon? Does my mind radiate unconditional love and acceptance for you as I hand over any material gift to you? So, the very first ingredient we need to add in any relationship is unlimited acceptance and forgiveness. Let me play my role to the best of the capabilities, without being concerned about other’s roles. When we have head-to-head communication in any relationship, which is driven by false ego, then those relationships become transactional. When the communication is heart-to-heart, then our relationships become transcendent. We start to accept the person, relation, and every situation involved in a particular scene, without regretting past mistakes or worrying about the future. Fully accepting the person and relation, even the pain or the suffering involved in that will transcendent us from that experience and we become the unlimited reservoir of forgiveness and acceptance.
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can
like them for who they are.” – Donald Miller
- Watering the seed to nurture the tree of Relationships – Any healthy relationship starts with creating a beautiful bond with the self. How much I love and care for myself. Do I value my self or am I always dependent on others’ opinions or appreciation for my self-esteem? Let’s first become our best friends. And for that, I must spend some time with the self in nature, silence because silence is the language of the soul. Nurturing the soul with positive thoughts, affirmations and self-love is the foundation of my relationship with the self. Writing a journal every day is another way of understanding the self and my thought process. Only when I am able to take care of myself and heal myself, become self-reliant, can I create a beautiful relationship with other beings. Otherwise, my relationships will always be need-based. No matter, how much I try to satisfy the other person in the relationship by doing temporary things, it will not reach the other being, if is need-based or transactional in nature. It just comes from a place of deep security and love for the self and that’s what is naturally and easily flowing through me into my every relation.
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” –
Joseph F. Newton
3. Establishing the relationship with the One, Supreme Being – When we have one constant source for all our attainments, then our list of expectations and desires in all other relationships are over. The soul is so fulfilled with the profound experience coming from that deep relationship with the One God, Supreme Soul. He is my eternal Father, my eternal mother, my Spiritual teacher, my beloved, my child who takes care of me in every situation and so all other relations in our life are there just to serve and give them unconditionally through our thoughts, words and actions. Sometimes, experience God as the Friend or the Companion; sometimes as your Life Partner, sometimes God is your especially beloved Child. So, when you sometimes feel yourself a little lonely or sad or surrounded by the different problems of life, play with such a beautiful Child; play with Him as your Friend. When you are sometimes tired & exhausted, go to sleep in the lap of the eternal Mother; merge in Her lap. At time, when you feel
disheartened from other relations in your life, experience being an embodiment of the love with the Almighty Authority, Supreme God. Then, from being disheartened, your heart will become happy.
True relationships are beyond labeled connections with friends, neighbors, and colleagues. Haven’t we all had this déjà-vu experience with unfamiliar people who are apparent strangers but on meeting with them it feels like there’s been some shared connect somewhere? I recall this intern who worked with us for a couple of months. Every evening when I’d collect my things to book myself a ride
and get ready to leave, she’d find some excuse to spend a few minutes with me as both of us climbed downstairs and she got a few minutes of fresh air and emotional room to discuss work-place challenges with me and clear her mind before she picked up a pack of cookies and returned to her desk after reaching me to my ride. Although, I refrained from providing solutions to her challenges, merely thinking aloud made her feel light. And well! For me, it was good company whilst I waited for the ride.
This girl had no labeled relationship with me. Neither did we share a parent-child, nor an entrepreneur-client relation but somehow our thoughts feelings, and words clicked and that’s how we tuned into the same frequency?
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of
the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
Isn’t it about time to let this “Real Friend” enter into your life, heart and soul?
How to experience that one ever-lasting relationship with God? How to have all our desires and expectations in other relationships fulfilled from that one Source of Unlimited Happiness and Love? To know more, experience our online meditation course completely free of cost.
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